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A Tribute to Phyllis, the Love of My Life and Wife of 55 Years.

How do I tell the story of the person who became the light of my life? The person Who pulled me from the depths of despair at times, and celebrated with me at other times. The person who bonded with me until there was no Phyllis without Larry and no Larry without Phyllis. I can give some of the facts, but not all. Phyllis was a very private person who opened up to only a few, but to myself most of all and I cannot share the parts she would not want shared.

Phyllis Before Larry

Phyllis was born and grew up in the Jeffersonville, Clarksville, New Albany region of Indiana -- across the Ohio River from Louisville KY. She had been a careless and easily bored student in elementary school. This changed overnight when her mother began teaching at her school, because everybody knew teachers' children were smart and she worked hard to be thought smart. I am not sure she ever knew how intelligent she really was.

Phyllis had a much older brother who got married and had children when Phyllis was still pre-teen. Phyllis watched these children often and also assisted their mother. Was this where she developed her love of small children, or just an early expression of something she had at birth?

High school saw Phyllis blossom in a lot of ways. She had a group of girl friends that did a lot of things together. At slightly over 5'10'' she was not one who was asked on a lot of dates. She dated one young man for a period of time. I am not sure when they started dating but they were dating the summer after her high school graduation (Our Lady of Providence High School, 1965). This young man was quite shocked when Phyllis told him she had decided to become a nun and would be entering the convent at the end of the summer.

Her freshman year of college was in a convent. Phyllis had wanted to be a librarian, but the need within the Catholic Church was more for elementary teachers, and her coursework was geared in that direction. This would change the focus of her working life. There were some family problems at this time, and Phyllis had trouble being clear in her thoughts about what God would have her do. Finally, after the end of her college studies that year, she left the convent. She had taken no vows, not temporary or permanent. This is important in that Phyllis never broke a vow. Phyllis spent a lot of time in prayer and determined her place in God's service was not in the convent at that time. She returned to her parents, who welcomed her.

Sophomore year found Phyllis at Indiana University SouthEast, where she was a top student. She worked summers as an operator for AT&T.

I am not sure why Phyllis came to the main Indiana University campus at Bloomington for her junior year. I believe that IU-SE at that time did not have the rest of the courses she would need to graduate. I am simply glad she came and lived in Forrest Hall, just across the parking lot from where I was at Willkie Hall. Phyllis was still a devout Catholic and got up early to walk to church for early morning Mass and prayer. She was praying to know if she should return to the convent or to meet the right man so she could raise children. She always thought she would be a great mother (she was right) and an ok wife (she was a wonderful wife). Phyllis also determined to lose weight, which is not easy on a college campus. At the end of the first semester she had lost over 30 pounds. Her thought process was "If I think of it as food, I cannnot eat it." Pizza was out. Broccoli and lettuce were in. Sundays were her exception.

One of the classes she had was an introductory Physics class of 300 plus students. She was always with a group of young women. A certain young man in that class, Larry, did not have enough confidence in himself to approach a group of young women and always sat alone. Phyllis ended up with a D in that class, after approaching the professor and saying she had trouble and needed some help. The professor said "Oh, you will do just fine." She did not. This D stopped her from qualifying for "mortar board", kind of an academic honor society.

Phyllis dated some in college before Larry, but never a second date with anyone. I will not go into details, but she did not feel any of the young men had her best interests in mind. By the end of the semester she was ready to swear off men for good. Many of the girls on her floor thought of Phyllis as someone to confess to and advise them -- much as a priest is generally thought of.

The second semester of Phyllis' Junior year brought some changes she did not expect.

2 Larry Before Phyllis

I was born near Chicago IL, moved to Southern Illinois then New Jersey, then into Chicago before I turned 4. My parents bought a small house in New Chicago IN shortly after my fourth birthday. Oddly enough, I would stay in the same school system (though in different houses) until graduation from River Forest High School in 1966.

I was different. To some I was "the boy who was so smart he was dumb". It was true my best grades came in the hardest subjects, but I took shop, typing, and gym to be well rounded. The only "C" for a semester grade in high school came from typing, which as an adult would be the one subject I used on a daily basis.

While in high school, I was filling the role of an adult Little League coach and Boy Scout leader. I was on the wrestling team through his junior year, but something odd happened. Near the end of my junior year, I was called into the office along with the girl genius who would be valedictorian. We were told that Indiana University would like each of us to consider taking one course over the summer, but it would probably mean not being eligible for high school sports. We both elected to go for it. and I continued taking college courses through my senior year and the following summer. I completed my freshman year and the In the Autumn after graduating from high school I went on campus as a sophomore.

I almost flunked out of college that year, but I hung on. Since more than half of my dormitory floor did flunk out that year, i decided to try another dorm the next year. When I came back to Indiana University as a junior, the dormitory I was in was Willkie -- across the street from Forrest.

3 How Phyllis Met Larry

Indiana University has some extremely large classrooms. Phyllis and I had been in the same Physics class with over 300 students the first semester of our junior year, but we never met. Years later we would laugh about it. God had set our meeting in motion, but we blew it the first time and He went with plan B.

3.1 The Prelude -- Plan B

The first day of second semester, I went into my Chemistry class and saw a pretty girl sitting alone. I decided I was tired of not meeting girls, and since nobody was going to make introductions I would be direct. I sat down and introduced himself. Her name was Sue. Sue said she was not good at science and she hoped she would pass but did not know how. I said I was pretty good at science, but that I did better when I tutored someone, so I offered. Sue accepted and I tutored Sue the entire semester (spoiler, Sue ended up with a "B" and Larry with an "A"). What does this have to do with Larry and Phyllis?

3.2 The Monday after Valentines Day, 1968

I was tutoring Sue in the lounge of her dorm, and she wanted to know how she could repay me. I told her she already had, as I always learned better when helping someone else, but she wanted to do more. I asked her to consider going out with me, but she said she was seriously dating a guy, and she only dated one guy at a time.

Sue suddenly looked extremely thoughtful.

“But”, Sue said, “there is a girl on my floor you might like to meet. I think you and she would hit it off. Her name is Phyllis.”

"Sue" I replied, "I am not interested in dating Phyllis Dillar."

She said, “No, I’m serious. I think you and Phyllis would hit it off quite well.” She used the floor phone (this was before cell phones) to call her roommate Kristi to come down and confirm her thoughts. The three of us talked at some length, and I became a little more interested. I had been the butt of jokes in the past, and was afraid of being too gullible, but they really seamed sincere.

I told them if Phyllis agreed, I would call her. Sue said she would call me after they talked to Phyllis.

After leaving Sue and Kristi, I went to my dorm room to await Sue's call. Sue and Kristi went upstairs hoping to see Phyllis.

Sue and Kristi bounced into Phyllis’ room with big smiles. “Phyllis” said Sue. “Have I got a boy for you to meet. His name is Larry and he has been tutoring me in Chemistry.”

“Well tell me more about him” was Phyllis’ response. Kristi smiled “He has NICE teeth.” Phyllis looked puzzled while she thought “What is he, a horse?”. Kristi saw the puzzled look and said “Well, that’s important to me.”

{SIDE NOTE: Anyone who knew me knew I had a mouthful of silver filings and had an overbite. Good teeth? I am not so sure, but I do not have false teeth today at age 77.}

Sue added “Oh, he does not have much money.”

They talked awhile longer, and Phyllis said, “Ok, have him call me tomorrow night at 7.” She thought “If he can’t afford to take me out, I will just give him the quick brushoff”.

Sue called me, and I agreed to call Phyllis the next night. The next night was February 20.

3.3 The Tuesday after Valentines Day, 1968

I actually called Phyllis at 7 PM exactly on February 20, 1968.

I am not sure how to describe a miracle or magic or both.

Phyllis and I talked for nearly 3 hours. At the end of that time it was like we had known each other and been good friends for many years.

She told me about her life including graduating from a catholic high school in 1965, mentioned her freshman year at a small college, sophomore year at IU Southeast, and IU this her junior year. She talked about the girls she ran around with in high school.

I told Phyllis about my life living at the corner of a school district as a kid, with baseball in another school district and Boy Scouts in a third. Different parts of my life had strictly different kids. I told her about high school being a little different, as I tried to jump in when there was a shortage of men to do volunteer work with kids. This included managing Little League teams 2 summers and serving as a very young assistant Scoutmaster. I told about my insane idea for getting through college in 3 years by taking his senior year of high school and freshman year of college simultaneously and working part time, as well as the Boy Scouts and Little League. I had made it work but I had never been so busy. Neither Phyllis nor I had attended our senior prom.

At 10pm we said goodbye for the night and agreed to talk the next night. We both wanted to meet in person.

3.4 The Wednesday after Valentines Day, 1968

Our conversation continued when I called on Wednesday night.

I told her about my work at a Boy’s Club Camp the previous summer. I told her I had skipped social fraternities in favor of a service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, where I was the newsletter editor. I told her I played guitar, with an interest in folk music.

She talked about her shattered hopes of making Mortar Board when she received a D in physics. I asked the course number and name of the professor. This confirmed we had been in the same class (about 300 students)and never met. In a way, I felt like I had let her down.

I think this is where Phyllis told me she had been going to early morning Mass and prayed seeking direction for her life. It may have been at this point I said he had not been formal about prayer, but had been informally praying for years to meet the right girl, the one that would love me as much as I would love her. I wanted to be certain I stuck to my commitment and did not cause the pain some men caused their wife and children. I had seen the damage first hand in my own family.

We talked about our hopes and dreams for the future. we both were preparing to be teachers.

We planned to go out on the coming weekend. Simon and Garfunkel were going to be in concert Saturday. Someone on Larry's floor had tickets, but was not able to go. Larry would try to get tickets. Phyllis told me there was a free film night at her dorm Friday night, Lord Jim.

We talked for about two and a half hours. We would talk again Thursday night.

3.5 Thursday

This was a much shorter call -- only 90 minutes. I had gotten the Simon and Garfunkle tickets, and the venue was in easy walking distance -- not nearly as far as we walked to classes. We confirmed both dates, and made plans for Sunday afternoon, when the cafeterias were closed.

3.6 Friday Night

There is a lot to cover here. In the previous 3 days, Phyllis and I had talked for over 7 hours by telephone. Now we were going to meet. I went to the dorm at the appointed time, and used the lobby phone to call her at exactly the time scheduled, to the second. She told me what she was wearing and took the elevator.

I would later learn that to Phyllis, being late meant to be only ten minutes early. I would eventually learn to be tuned to her clock.

Now, neither of us looked like the mental image we had of the other. So what? We each knew the other on the inside. I think we were both waiting for the person we knew from these hours on the phone to manifest. We went into the cafeteria where Lord Jim was being shown. This was a 1965 film staring Peter O'Toole about a man who branded himself as a coward and who sought to redeem himself. The book was written by Joseph Conrad and published in 1900. Jim succeeds in redeeming himself and is true to his internal idea of honor. In the end he makes another mistake and is given the chance to sneak away with the woman who loves him, but instead follows his own idea of honor and stays to face the firing squad. Any man or woman who attempts to live according to their own code and not someone else’s idea of right and wrong will have their heart wrenched. I had tears in my eyes at the end. I looked at Phyllis and she had tears gently flowing. My heart went out to her. In coming years she would often say "I am so glad I cried during Lord Jim."

I asked Phyllis if she would like to take a walk. She agreed, even though it was cold. We both began to see glimpses of the person we knew so well. This walk began to blend what we saw with what we heard and knew of each others inner spirit.

Early February had been so warm most of the student body was sunbathing, but it was cold now. I had recently lost one glove, so had to keep my left hand in my pocket. We talked. I told her about the East Hall fire (Music building). I had seen the glow and walked over to see building engulfed in flames. Some students had grabbed a fire hose. I joined them. Later, the fire department put ladders in the zero degree air and sprayed the fire from above. The wind blew much of the water right down on me. I was the only one on one side of the hose. The rest of the students were on the other. They did not look wet, so I ignored it. I touched my head and finally realized My hair was now encrusted with ice, and so was my coat, I headed for the dorm looking like Frosty the IceMan To this day, I have never been so torn between rage at being covered with ice, and laughter at the absurdity of the situation. I just could not help myself. Standing around was not in my nature. I try to do what I think is right. Sometimes it really backfires.

I sang to her one of songs I was trying to get right on the guitar. It was a somewhat romantic song called "Gypsy Rover". Many years later, Phyllis would ask me to sing that song to her on the night she died.

We grew closer in spirit. Larry knew a fast food place that should still be open near downtown Bloomington that sold hot chocolate. We were the only customers at that time, about 9:30 PM.

After the cocoa and the walk back, she led me into to lobby area and we sat down and talked some more. And kissed. And talked some more. And kissed. And communicated wordlessly for the next hour until curfew.

3.7 Saturday Night

{ Author's note: if the story seams to emphasize what I shared with Phyllis more that what she shared with me, Phyllis was(is) a very private person, and I respect her now as I respected her then. I will only share what she agreed for me to share and generalizations about what anyone reading the story would guess. She may have shared the details with others, but I doubt it. We quickly became each others best friend.}

Now to continue. Saturday night was great seeing Simon and Garfunkel and hearing them sing “Mrs. Robinson” before it was ever played on the radio. Larry had to borrow a sports jacket, from the guy that sold him the tickets. Phyllis looked radiantly beautiful.

Leaving the concert, We agreed We would have to see "The Graduate".

Afterward we stopped at her dorm lobby for some talk -- and other things.

3.8 Sunday

Sunday dinner was not provided at the dorms. Phyllis and I walked to a restaurant on the other side of campus -- about 2 miles. I had to sit and rest on the way. Phyllis did not. Lum's served hot dogs steamed in beer. The food was between ok and good. The company was wonderful.

I believe it was on the way back that Phyllis told me the "small college" where she studied her freshman year was a convent, and she had been studying to be a nun. I was stunned. I had assumed Phyllis had some serious experience kissing, and that she had been teaching me. It turned out we had been teaching each other.

I also believe this was where Larry first sang "Kisses Sweeter than Wine" to Phyllis, and said it could be the theme for their lives. Phyllis protested that we were too young to be thinking about being "ready to go". Today, you can look up the lyrics. It was hard to find the music in 1968. Everything was on paper only in those days.

Afterward we stopped in the dorm lobby for more talking and more communicating without speaking as well. Yes we kissed. I understand the French have two words for kissing. This was the other kind. Four hours later curfew separated us and in Phyllis' dorm, which was all girls, the lounge closed. Girls had curfew. Boys did not. The girls on the floor, who had used Phyllis as someone they confessed to and sought guidance from, and who knew she had been preparing to enter the convent, teased her unmercifully.

4 The SHORT Courtship

On Monday I saw Phyllis on campus. I ran over and kissed her. She was shocked but not angry. I jumped to the conclusion he would see Phyllis on campus regularly. I did not run into her on campus again for the rest of the semester.

On Tuesday, for the first time in a week, Phyllis and I did not communicate. It felt strange. Nobody had a cell phone in those days. Texting was way in the future. There was one phone for every two rooms in a box in the wall that could be opened by either room. Typically there were two people per room. When we talked on Wednesday, we set up plans on when to meet and talk.

I had a car, but it was not working. It needed a tuneup. I got a group of guys to help me push this car to a main street. Fortunately the car was parked near the top of a hill. I then rolled in the car to a service station at the bottom of the hill, where it was fixed. Phyllis and I would have a little more freedom and we explored the country side, and little by little began to plan our life together.

I will leave a little privacy at this point. The times together went into a blur and the dates ran together. We did grow closer, but both were still full time students.

I was still meeting with Sue and tutoring her through this time and the rest of the semester.

I met some of the girls on Phyllis' floor when they held an "open house" where boys were allowed on the floor, but the door could not be completely closed. At one of these I brought my guitar and played and sang for Phyllis. Phyllis came to an open house on Larry's floor and some of the guys met the girl Larry talked about so much.

Somewhere in this time period, university policy changed and "open house days with closed doors" were allowed. I do not know how long this policy lasted or if it is still in effect.

In this 3 weeks, Larry and Phyllis planned out their lives together. Phyllis wanted to be a stay at home Mom to their planned dozen children, maybe even a baker's dozen. Maybe it was a good thing that young people's plans were not "locked in".

5 Engagement and Long Distance

On a very pleasant day, Saturday, March 16, I took Phyllis to McCormick's Creek State Park not too far from campus. We were just sitting on a blanket and listening to the stream and treasuring being together. There was some kissing. Suddenly, Phyllis sat up very straight and said "I have just got a crazy idea. What if we go visit my parents?!" I thought, "What could possibly go wrong with a girl bringing home a boy she has known less than a month?" But I looked at the light in Phyllis' eyes and smiled and said "Why not!" I knew that Phyllis was a planner. Doing something spur of the moment like this was not the way she usually did things, but sometime spontaneity brought happiness. I would have to meet her parents sometime. Why not now?

After the short drive back to Bloomington and a quick phone call and a little packing, Phyllis and I were on our way to Jeffersonville IN. The introductions went well and I slept on the couch in the living room. All 4 went to Sunday Morning Mass. At some point, Phyllis' mother asked me privately if Phyllis and I were "serious" about each other. I assured her we were. She then asked Phyllis privately "Has that boy asked you to marry him?" Her answer was "No."

Phyllis thought that was funny, since it was less than a month since we had met and told me about it on our way back to Bloomington. I said I would probably ask her about the end of the semester and the start of the summer. Phyllis said nothing but thought "When you ask, I will say "Yes". Somehow we took a detour to the Monroe Reservoir as we neared Bloomington. We kissed and hugged and kissed some more. It became clear to me that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful woman and her "kisses sweeter than wine". It seemed pointless to wait any longer to ask, so I said "Phyllis, will you marry me?"

Phyllis was stunned and just looked at me with a strange look on her face.. She later said she was shouting "YES!!" in her mind, but her vocal cords were frozen. When she realized nothing came out of her mouth and saw the downcast look on my face, she kissed me. That broke through and she was able to say "Yes, Larry, I will".

{ Author's note: The next few days are not clear in my mind. We will continue on the next Saturday } Saturday was cold, and there was an unusual (for Bloomington) 3 inch snowfall in late March. I drove Phyllis out to the same place I proposed. My question was "Do we really mean it? Do we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. Before we tell anyone else, we had better be positive!" The discussion was long. Phyllis questioned if I was hinting something. I wasn't. I would never learn to give hints or take hints. I was direct and took what people said at face value. Phyllis loved me anyway.

Yes. We were both serious and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together and were ready tell everyone. Phyllis would call her parents and we would go see them Sunday.

Soon, I would contact my mother, tell her, and make arrangements for her to meet Phyllis.

The snow was continuing to fall. It was now over 5 inches. I started the car and started to turn around and drive out. Unfortunately the snow covered the road and the roadside. There were no other tire tracks besides our own. I drove the front wheels off the road and into the soft -mud under the snow. There was no way out. We were stuck.

More discussion. What do we do now? There is nothing at all close by. Phyllis reminded me of the small country store we had passed about a mile further back. Maybe they had a phone.{authors note: Younger readers, please remember 1968 was way before cell phones!} Snow was still coming down. Time to walk. We were not dressed for such a snow hike at night, but we were relatively warm, and we were young, healthy, and in love. I chuckled, and then laughed out loud at the absurdity of the situation. We finally reached the store, after midnight. The advertising lights were on. Could the door be unlocked? No, but the keys were in the lock! We went in and got out of the cold and got ready to wait for the proprietor to arrive. There was not a long wait. He lived in the back of the store and thought he was being awakened by one of his early Sunday morning fishing customers. Phyllis explained the situation in her sweet kind voice. He was kind and understanding, but he did not have a telephone. He gave us directions to the house about two blocks away that he knew did have a phone and agreed to leave the store unlocked for us. Back into the cold. 1968 was a much more trusting time in rural Indiana. A woman answered the door accompanied by a small child. Phyllis again explained the the situation, and the kind woman let us in to use her phone. I called a married member of my service fraternity and gave directions. He and his wife came to get us. After some heartfelt thanks to the woman for letting us in, Phyllis suggested we go back to the store so the woman and child could go back to sleep. Larry's fraternity brother was going to pick us up at the store. Its lights made a ready landmark. Larry drifted off to sleep and Phyllis kept watch.

When the fraternity brother arrived, his wife was with him. She thought it was safer and more enjoyable, even romantic, if they came together. They asked for the story. I explained about the previous week's proposal and the current week revisit. The brother asked "Well did she say yes?" Phyllis responded "I did that last week, but today we confirmed it and agreed to make it public." He dropped us off at Phyllis' dorm. I walked Phyllis to the entry point, saw her go in, and went to My dorm. I got some sleep. Phyllis went to early morning mass. I thought she had the most incredible stamina.

I got up after the gas stations (most of which had tow trucks in those days) were open. I only had about $25 in cash, and could not get more cash until Monday. Sorry, No ATM machines at this time either. The second station I tried would go retrieve the car (even picking me up on the way!) for $17.50 provided the winching was easy. I assured them it should be an easy winch, and it was. The driver picked me up and we retrieved the car without incident. When I got back, Phyllis confirmed we could go. A quick packing and we were on our way to Jeffersonville. Phyllis gave me the substance of the conversation. Phyllis: "I need to come see you today." Phyllis' Dad: "Why?" "I just want to talk to you about something." We agreed they would probably figure it out before we got there, but we needed to see their reaction. They were welcoming.

About two weeks later, Phyllis and I were heading north to visit my mother, my mother's husband of about a year, and my sister. They lived in an old farm house they had recently purchased with about 40 acres of land. On the way, I pointed out the Kentland bus station where a blizzard had trapped me about 14 months earlier. This small country bus station would become a big part of our lives that coming summer of 1968. I led Phyllis in and went to introduce Phyllis to my mother. I could not remember the correct name. No,I did not forget Phyllis, it was my mothers name. I knew her first name, but could not recall the last name she had acquired about a year earlier. Her new husband was there. Fortunately he had a great sense of humor. He saw what was happening and with great effort managed not to break out laughing. Larry's sister considerately went each night to spend the night at a friend's home so Phyllis could have her bed.

The visit went well. Phyllis, ever helpful, offered to help with dinner by making gravy -- something she had seen her mother do, but she had never actually done herself. It turned out more like flour dumplings. Nobody at the table could have been happier if the gravy was perfect. Phyllis had the rare gift of being able to laugh at her own mistakes, but not other people's mistakes.

The semester rolled on. Phyllis and I grew closer. The Viet Nam war was raging and so were anti-war protests. How did this affect the young lovers? I could be subject to the draft upon graduation. The DRAFT LOTTERY was an idea that was gaining traction. Every young man would have an equal chance at service. Removing the traditional deferment for teachers and other "critical" occupations seamed likely. Our original plan to wait for marriage after our 1969 graduation began to look less appealing. Getting married and then me going off to war did not seam wise. Neither did waiting for marriage until after I got out of the army, or at least back from Viet Nam. The logical but tough decision was to get married sooner, before school resumed in September.

That left the summer to figure out. Phyllis had a summer job in Jeffersonville waiting for her. I was certain the steel mills of Gary would hire many college students for the summer. The summer would be spent at opposite ends of the state with Greyhound occasionally bringing us together when either of us had three days off in a row.

The semester ended. All grades looked good. Sue (remember her?) had a "B" in Chemistry thanks to tutoring. Larry, thanks to tutoring Sue, had to learn Chemistry better than he would have and got an "A". Phyllis and I, closer than ever, earned an "A" in personal chemistry ;)

NOTE: The ";" followed by ")" was common in the early days of the internet. It would evolve into the "wink smile" emoji.

5.1 The Summer Apart

This was a trying time.

Phyllis lived at her home in Jeffersonville near the Ohio River and worked as a telephone operator with AT&T. Unless you are of a certain age, you may have no idea what that is. With me working in Gary on the shore of Lake Michigan, Phyllis and I were about as far apart as possible and both still be in the state of Indiana.

I worked in the "coke" plant of United States Steel on the south shore of Lake Michigan in Gary, and lived about an hour south. The "coke" plant baked coal and purified it to make it suitable for making high quality steel in "open hearth" furnaces. The byproducts were profitable and kept the "coke plant" working even thought there was enough "coke" to power the mills for a year. One of the byproducts was used to make aspirin. I promised my coworkers I would think of the plant every time he took an aspirin for the rest of my life. I also learned a lot about racial relations and harmony. About 95% of the workers were black and 80% of the foremen were white. Most of these black men were working hard to support their families. The work was hot and very dirty. Halfway through the shift it was hard to tell the race of the worker, especially if you worked on the top or sides of the ovens. There were still a handful of "Rosie" workers -- Women who started doing men's jobs during World War II and were still on the job. The term "Rosie" came from the song "Rosie the Riveter".

I worked 5 midnight shifts, got 56 hours off, then 5 day shifts, another 56 hours off, then 5 evening shifts followed by 72 hours off before starting over. This was the time Larry would drive 1 hour to home, another 30 minutes to Kentland and catch a greyhound bus to Jeffersonville. Phyllis would catch a bus north when she had 3 days off. We missed each other terribly. Sleep did not seam as important as seeing each other.

One time Phyllis was on a bus that came late to Indianapolis, and the bus that stopped at Kentland was already gone. The next bus was supposed to go through Kentland without stopping and on to Chicago. The driver, hearing Phyllis' predicament, offered to stop long enough to let her off anyway. There was no time to find a pay phone and call (remember, there was no such thing as a cell phone). I met the original bus at 2:00 AM but no Phyllis. I called my mother to see if she had heard anything. She had not. I decided to head home. The car engine quit half way home. Luckily there was a phone booth nearby. I called home, my mother said Phyllis was in Kentland waiting. A fiend of my step father was spending the night. He got out of bed, threw a towing chain in the back of his pickup, and came to get me, then on to Kentland for Phyllis, and went back to the disabled car and towed it home. Just an example of the strain of the summer of 1968.

6 Phyllis the Young Bride

As was tradition, Phyllis and her mother planned the wedding. She shared everything with me and asked me to plan the honeymoon, and to arrange for a place for us to live in Bloomington. Phyllis had 5 bridesmaids and I selected groomsmen. The wedding was at St Anthony's Catholic Church (Phyllis church since childhood). I no longer remember the location of the reception. I did not want a bachelor party and Phyllis did not want a bachelorette party.

My mother and stepfather gave the bride and groom a used house trailer and helped me fix it up. The three of them plus my best man moved the trailer to Bloomington. The plan was to have it in Bloomington the two days before the wedding, sleep in it that night, and proceed to Clarksville the day before the wedding in plenty of time for the rehearsal. I had promised I would be at Phyllis' home by noon at the latest I learned two lessons: things will go wrong and you need to allow for them, and do not try to save time by not communicating. I ended up arriving barely in time for the 6:00 rehearsal. Phyllis called off the wedding more than once that day, but all was forgiven when I walked in the door. "Next time you are going to be late, please call me! I called off the wedding at least 6 times" was all Phyllis said about it.

The wedding was pretty much as expected. The priest had a few words of advice. "This is least love you will have for each other in your married life. Keep your love growing. Your marriage will sustain your love, not the other way around." This proved true. Phyllis and I worked through problems as they came up. We were committed to our marriage working.

Phyllis loved being the hostess at her reception.

The drive to the honeymoon at Cumberland Falls State Park was surreal. Both of their lives had changed forever. The really were two made one. The time at Cumberland Falls is best kept private.

7 Young Married Wife

At the end of the too-short honeymoon came getting our small house trailer (8 x 26)to be a suitable home, adjusting to living together and our senior year of college. It was rough. Money was extremely tight. We both worked part time. Grades stayed good for both. It was hard, yet it was wonderful in many ways. I typically fixed breakfast, we would drive to campus and stay the day, and came home with Phyllis fixing dinner. There was not enough room for two to do dishes together. After some false starts, we took turns doing dishes and made it a sharing time by having the other person read from classic literature. The first was "David Copperfield" as Larry had only read portions of that massive novel, and Phyllis loved it. We had no Television and could not afford to buy one. Wey did have my cheap stereo and some (mostly cheap) LP records.

In spite of the fights and arguments that typically happen to newly weds, we grew closer. We made up a lot. We loved a lot. We laughed a lot. We made homemade greeting cards for each other.

Phyllis made dinner for guests for the first time. Swiss steaks, vegetables, potato salad, and desert. Her recipe for potato salad served 8. Phyllis did not think that would be enough for the 4 of them so she tripled it. There were 5 quarts left over. I did not care for potato salad, but I convinced Phyllis I really liked it. By the time it was gone, I really did like it. Many years later we would still laugh over this again and again. Especially every time Phyllis fixed potato salad.

There were times one of the two of us would get mad at the other, something would become a mess, and we laughed as we cleaned it up together. The cause of the upset forgotten as we worked together.

That first Christmas was one of saved pennies getting spent. Phyllis squirreled away pennies and gave me a three volume paperback set of "The Lord of the Rings", which I had said I looked forward to reading. I read those for years until they fell apart. Another set was purchased and those were read until they fell apart too. I still read the series about once a year (on a Kindle) and watches the movies annually also. That was a wonderful gift that continued on for years. Phyllis was great at that.

There were family issues. Phyllis made clear to her family that nobody would be allowed to come between her and her husband. My step father was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Phyllis did what she could for her husband and his family.

The summer found us both needing to take summer classes. I needed 6 more hours of Math and Phyllis needed one more class. No time off. Phyllis had a job as a waitress on the midnight shift. This was too much and she was ready to drop out of school with one class to go. I lined up an interview for her for another job. After sleeping during the day Phyllis came to the 4PM interview and knocked it out of the park. Issue resolved. My step father got even worse and Phyllis went with me to Northern Indiana to visit in his hospital room -- even on the night of the first Apollo Moon Landing, which we watched on the tiny portable black and white TV. A few weeks later, My step father died.

While visiting Phyllis' parents, i was asked to park my old car next to the street. Late that night it was hit by a drunk driver. There was some insurance compensation, but new problems kept showing up after the insurance company settled. While still in college, the old car died. We had ordered a new but basic car from a neighbor of Phyllis' parents that owned a car dealership, but the ordered car was to come after graduation. Phyllis' father worked with the dealership to get a great deal on another basic car already on the lot, and he paid the extra fees without telling anybody. Phyllis and I would have that car as our only car for more than 10 years.

We landed teaching jobs in Indianapolis and moved into an apartment there. We decided I would start on his Masters degree the next summer. No time off. Hard work and savings paid off student loans in a very timely fashion. We purchased a house. Financially things were looking up. Phyllis and I finished my(our) masters degree. Phyllis was an incredible researcher and typist on papers that had to be written. Phyllis and Larry took one class together. It was Larry's last class and it was to be the first class on Phyllis' masters degree. Even though Phyllis planned to stop teaching with the birth of her first child, she wanted the insurance of being able to resume teaching if something happened to Larry. We both got an "A" but it was the worst class either one had ever taken. The instructor treated everyone like untrustworthy elementary students. Phyllis never took another class. I started working summers running a day camp for the YMCA. No time off. Phyllis worked the same summers to make the house a real home.

8 Young Mother

The day came when Phyllis told me she thought we were ready to try to have our first child. I agreed for Phyllis to stop taking birth control pills. One month later, Phyllis was disappointed she was not pregnant. One more month and a baby was on the way. Phyllis never had as much energy as she did in those 9 months. She was happier than ever. She beamed out happy rays. Our son Paul was one very welcome child. Phyllis stopped teaching at the end of the year once she knew she was pregnant. Her teaching career had lasted 4 years.

I began working 3-4 nights per week on supplemental jobs plus aiding in child care. My teaching suffered. I was informed the school district was not going to offer me a contract the following year. I persevered and finished the year. Phyllis insisted on doing something different as that school year ended, even with a 6 month old and no job. We would take a vacation and some time off.

This was how the Great Smokey Mountains became a favorite place. We took several hikes, including a long one to Charlie's Bunion on the Appalachian Trail and Grotto Falls. We drove many back and secondary roads such as the Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail, where Phyllis found her favorite and most peaceful, relaxing place in the world: Ephraim Bales' Cabin on the Roaring Fork of the Little Pigeon River. We would visit this location and walk the nearby banks of Roaring Fork many times over the years. Many years later, Phyllis would ask myself and our children to scatter her ashes as close to that as they could. Larry had a camera on this first vacation, and he took a picture of young mother Phyllis feeding a bottle to her baby while sitting on the stoop of this cabin. Seeing the picture always brought a smile. We gave a copy of this picture to my mother. She had a guest in her home who walked by the picture and did a double take. "Who do you know that lives like that?" "Oh the baby is my grandson. The woman is my daughter-in-law. My son took the picture and is very proud of it and them." A mic drop moment. No reason to mention we were on vacation. Phyllis only wished we could live there, but in a more modern home. The sound of Roaring Fork was a low roar, but it was calming to the soul.

Back at Home

When we came back from this vacation, I worked hard to find another job. A neighbor was a manager at a chemical plant, and arranged for me to be hired as a laborer. It paid better than teaching but finances were very tight. Savings were draining. Phyllis and I wanted their first two children to be less than two years apart. This time pregnancy came almost immediately.

After the birth of our daughter Felicity, Phyllis and I saw the end of our savings. We had to sell our house. We bought and moved into a mobile home. This had been hard for Phyllis but she grew to love the mobile home. There were some 20 degree below zero winter days and some walls frosted up. Their mobile home manufacturer sent two top trouble shooters, who made some small adjustments to insulation and ventilation, and the problem was minimized. There were some 100 plus degree summer days, but the larger than normal air conditioning unit we had selected held up. We economized in other ways. I worked all the overtime I could find. Finances began to look up. Our mobile home was paid off on schedule. Our son Paul and daughter Felicity grew and developed and we had a wonderful time as a young family with preschool children. There were many inexpensive adventures like hiking in state parks that the children might not remember, but which helped them develop and grow.

Phyllis was a terrific wife and a better mother. Here are a few examples of ways she found to make things better.

First, I had to work a lot of overtime and/or extra jobs to bring in finances as the sole wage earner, and Phyllis made the time Daddy came home very special for the kids and something for the kids to look forward to. There was never a "Wait till your father gets home" moment concerning discipline. If the kids needed disciplining, she took care of it. She developed the ability to know what her kids were doing. When she heard Felicity (age 1) fussing and pointing at Paul (age 3)) with a toy, she had assumed the older child took the toy and proceeded to give the toy to the younger child. One day she looked down the hall and saw the older child playing with a toy when the younger child came into view, looked at her brother with the toy and started fussing and pointing. Phyllis realized she had taught the young girl whenever she wanted what her brother had, all she had to do was fuss. Felicity was surprised when she was the one that was disciplined. Phyllis worked on understanding exactly what the kids were doing while she was making the trailer a home. In the future the kids would say "Dad can be fooled, but Mom can NEVER be fooled."

The whole family was over at a friends house one day. Paul came up to me and said calmly "Dad, can you help me?" By the time I realized my son was cut and bleeding, Phyllis had came from another room, taken the boy by his hand and was leading him to the sink to wash off the blood, stop the bleeding and bandage the hand. Paul would remember the best quality about his mother: when someone had a real need, she would drop everything to take care of that person's need and give it her entire attention.

When I heard the kids fighting (with words only), I would get the kids and find out what happened. Strangely, I worked things back and found both kids had done something that rated a spanking. As the kids aged, Phyllis realized this approach did not work anymore, and began a more effective way of dealing with squabbles. She would take the kids to where she would be able to watch them and sit them down on the floor facing each other. They were instructed to sit there, looking at each other until they could say they were sorry to each other and "Mom will know if you really mean it." This was much more effective.

Another example was when Felicity was about 18 months old. We went to a nature center and she was in a stroller. A raccoon had gotten out of his cage and saw animal crackers on the tray of the stroller and came up. The raccoon placed a paw on the girls leg. She let out a warhoop that scared the raccoon away (it later came back for the animal crackers after Phyllis lifted the noisy and freightened girl out of the stroller), but this had a more lasting effect on Felicity. She became afraid of all animals and everything living except people. She would let out the same warhoop when she stepped on a leaf or walked onto grass or saw an animal. Phyllis figured out how to handle this. She got a kitten and brought it home. The kitten was immediately a part of Felicity's world and no longer brought an automatic fear reaction. The kitten buffaloed the girl for awhile. The kitten had developed a game of grabbing an adult around the ankle and expecting a "What is this" reaction -- a quick intake of breath. I am certain you could see the grin on the ppleased kitten's face. She stopped that when she was told "Oh you silly cat" instead of the sharp intake of breath. Then the kitten turned to stalking the children. Three year old Paul went to the "Oh you silly cat" reaction quickly. Felicity (still not 2 yet) would be grabbed around the waist and be frightened and let out a cry. Within a month she was using the "Oh you silly cat" routine, the cat looked deflated and the stalking stopped. That frightened little girl gradually got braver. She grew up to be a professional fire fighter -- a Battalion Fire Chief. I would say she always overcomes any fear she may have before you ever see it on her face and she does what needs to be done, much like her mother.

When Felicity was about 8, there was a doll she wanted, and she asked her mother to buy it for her. Phyllis said she would not do that, but there were a lot of rocks in the yard. If she would pick up rocks out of the yard, she would be paid and could use that money to buy the doll herself. Our daughter would later comment that this taught her if she wanted something and worked hard for it, she could get it. Being an intelligent girl, she also quickly started picking up only small rocks and leaving the big ones behind since she was paid the same for a big rock as a small rock.

9 Home Schooling Pioneer

We had our son Paul in a Baptist school for kindergarten, although we were not Baptist. The principal had been a Christian first and a Baptist second. Paul was taught to read in kindergarten. He learned it very well. Felicity, at home, also learned to read. Her brother would come home, and Felicity would want to know what he had learned. He assumed the role of teacher and taught her what he had learned that day. It was remarkable to watch.

At the end of the year, the principal was released because the church sponsoring the school wanted it to be more Baptist. Coincidentally, Phyllis and I looked at a house for sale in a new community. Phyllis heard the word "HOME" in her heart. That was enough for me. We moved to that new locality and tried a Christian school there for both children, even though it was a long distance from our new home. The finances just did not work out, even though I had found a new job that paid more for extra hours worked.

At first moving the children to a public school worked out. But a few years later, a teacher caused immense problems for our son. Phyllis was keeping tabs on the school system and found the secondary school had the opinion the children belonged to the school rather than the parents and did not want the parents involved in the education.

Phyllis was having medical problems at this time, bleeding enough to be bed bound most of the day. During this time and while recovering from the necessary surgery, Phyllis researched how she could teach her own children at home. She read everything she could find and wrote to several organizations that provided oversight for Christian Home Schools of different denominations. She finally found one with an acceptable program. By the time the next school year began, she was ready. She began teaching her sixth grade son and fifth grade daughter at home.

This caused an uproar. The school district, upon being informed of the intent, sent a letter stating that, if she did this, her children could only be readmitted to their school district by taking a battery of tests to prove they had not been "academically and/or psychologically" damaged by leaving their school system. Some in our church attacked us for having our children under just our own authority. Phyllis and I firmly believed this was what we were supposed to do at that time. We stuck to it.

Phyllis researched home schooling organizations in Central Indiana and we were able to hook up with several other like-minded parents -- including a judge and two lawyers. This group did some things together to increase social interaction -- even putting on a Christmas Pageant. Since Phyllis had been a teacher and I still had a lifetime teaching license (i.e. I had my Masters Degree in Ed.), the only people less likely to be challenged on home schooling were the judge and lawyers.

When Paul was starting 8th grade and Felicity was starting 7th, Phyllis as usual, was looking and thinking ahead. The English Class with literature was going to require some in-person discussions, and it would be better if she could have both children together. She asked Felicity if she would be willing to take 7th and 8th grade English so she would be able to take Freshman English with Paul. Felicity had been coached by Phyllis to be a "self-starter", and it was well engrained in her by this time. She said "Mom, I do not want to be half in one grade and half in another. Let me take all of both seventh and eighthgrades this year." Phyllis raised a daughter that stuck to a commitment. She went a couple of weeks into the summer, and I have never seen a kid so sick of school, but she completed it and did all the work to 'A' standard.

We took both kids through high school graduation. We used karate classes for Physical EducatIon. I taught high school Math, Science, and Music (beginning guitar) and Phyllis taught all other subjects.

10 Empty Nest

Once our children left home, Phyllis and I began to travel more on my vacation time and do things together, Phyllis loved going to toy train shows with me, and had her own collection of prewar "tinplate" toy trains. We bought a pop up camper and took some interesting trips.

Even while our children were home schooled, Phyllis worked part time at some jobs. We needed the money. The job she liked the most was at a Hallmark & Collectibles store. She always had a talent for physical organization and arranging things to be easy to get to and see, The sections she managed became the most profitable. She was offered the managers position, but refused it.

In time she "retired" - no pension so she essentially just quit. It turned out to be a good thing. One day coming home from work, I was badly injured in a car accident. My worst injury was closed head trauma. My brain was "all shook up" and I lost the ability to think things through. I could not even stand up or sit up for more than an hour without my head being supported.

Phyllis stuck with me, and she had almost no help in caring for me. This went on for more than 2 years. I worked from home, mostly in my bed, but my healing was very slow. Phyllis asked if we could get a puppy to give her something to lift her spirits.

The puppy helped her a lot and raised my spirits too. She named him Roscoe. His great desire was to please us. When this puppy was a year old, and becoming a couch potato, Phyllis decided we should get a second puppy to keep him active. I trusted Phyllis' judgment more than I trusted my own at that time. I knew I was "off". Enter Harpo, a female poodle puppy that was very active. Harpo's desire was to please Harpo.

11 The Traveling Morgans

When it became apparent I would not really heal well enough to resume my work in the office at the quality of before the accident. Phyllis suggested we sell everything, and I would take early retirement. "If you stay until you planned to retire, it will kill you and I would be a widow with a pension. I would rather have you." We would become full time RVers. We had always hoped to see the some of the scenic wonders of our great country. Traveling in our travel trailer. We spent several months getting ready to hit the road, giving items away, selling others, and selling our house.

We ended up working our way around the country at low paying -- and low stress -- jobs.

Our travels were glorious in the beginning. We got a slow start the first year due to family requiring time. We also got to South Dakota and took a month to become official residents there, and we got a welcome surprise. There was an opening for workers in West Yellowstone Montana, the gateway to Yellowstone National Park.

Our first day driving to our first workamping job took us from the Black Hills of SD through Powder River Pass (9666 feet) and on through the towns of Ten Sleep and Grey Bull to Cody Wyoming. This was a long drive, but we were having a lot of fun, even though the truck had some problems, which we would get fixed in West Yellowstone. We talked back and forth the whole time we traveled.

This would be our pattern. We would head out and listen to our "traveling music" on the first traveling day for 30 minutes or so, and then talk the rest of the day. The second day we would not need the traveling music. We would simply talk and enjoy each others company. We never ran out of things to talk about. We soon adapted the "230 rule". After driving 230 miles or at 2:30 PM, whichever came first, it was time to look for a place to spend the night.

The second day took us through the East Entrance to Yellowstone National Park. We knew there was some roadwork in the park, but when we reached that point, we saw that one lane of the two lane road had disappeared down the mountain. There were delays and one way traffic. We finally made it to West Yellowstone. We decided this would be the last time we took a trailer though the park.

The next 6 weeks were glorious as we worked part-time and spent a lot of time with our dogs in nearby national forests, visited the headwaters of the Missouri River, and explored magnificent Yellowstone National Park and Grand Teton National Park.

Our gig ended with Labor Day weekend. We got a tip for a good place to work the next summer, so we headed to Ruby's Inn just outside Bryce Canyon National Park and secured jobs at their Campground for the following summer. Then paid a brief visit to the Grand Canyon (Torroweap, North Rim and South Rim). Continuing on we found winter jobs in Apache Junction, just outside of Pheonix AZ,very close to the Superstition Mountains and the famed site of the Lost Dutchman gold mine, made famous in the late 1880's. We had visits from our children during that winter.

In the spring we headed through Southern California in a futile effort to land a job for the following winter. The stop at Borrego Springs was wonderful, however. Then on to Bryce Canyon in late April with snow still on the ground. We worked there until snow came back in October. We had a tremendous time exploring South Central Utah including all 5 National Parks in that state (Zion, Bryce Canyon, Capital Reef, Arches and Canyonlands) plus fabulous state parks like Goblin Valley (see the movie Galaxy Quest) and Dead Horse Point. In October We continued south to famous Monument Valley, then through New Mexico to Big Bend National Park on the Rio Grande in Texas,, then across Texas to winter in San Marcos in the Texas Hill Country.

I will not continue to list more of our travels here. This was just a taste to wet your appetite. See the main part of TravelingMorgans.Com for more.

12 Hanging Up The Keys

I was getting better while on the road in many ways. My weight was high most of the time, but not as high as it had been. My mind improved and I was able stay upright and to hike.

Phyllis had many physical problems that took their toll on her. Some were diagnosed and had little that could be done. Other were not diagnosed until years later. Even when diagnosed, the actual truth of the condition was not made clear. In some cases the doctor involved had little or no idea of the severity and where it would lead.

One day, Phyllis took a bad fall in a restaurant, and we both knew she would be a long time recovering. We had to leave a job and not work the rest of that season.

As time went on, I was taking over more and more of the tasks necessary. I walked the dogs alone most of the time, and gave them the active play time they needed while Phyllis would rest. I would do more and more of the meal preparation. Phyllis would often coach me. My favorite trick was to grill all of the meat we would need for the week, along with some vegetables and potatoes, and then refrigerate all but the current meal. This would be heated other days, often placed over a freshly prepared salad.

Toward the end of our traveling days, Phyllis was unable to keep up a conversation while we traveled. She also began to need to change our travel pattern. We had normally traveled two days (with a night at a WalMart or other place we could stay at no charge) then spend one or two nights in a campground with electricity, water, and sewage connectivity. Now Phyllis needed several days at a campground with fewer stops at a WalMart. Her jobs were limited to ones she could perform sitting down. She used a cane to walk. One day she had a heart issue (atribal fibrillation or afib) while one the job. The owner walked Phyllis to our trailer, then came back later that day and asked us to leave. She assured us it had nothing to do with Phyllis' medical issue and was strictly because she was displeased with my job performance. We never worked again. We slowly migrated towards our winter trailer park in Texas and stayed there. In the parlance of workampers, we "hung up our keys".

13 Needing Larry as Caregiver

My job was now to be Phyllis' caregiver.

When the complete knowledge of Phyllis' physical issues were placed in front of me, I wondered how Phyllis had been able to keep traveling as long as she did. It was not until 3 years after we stopped traveling that the words "Pulmonary Fibrosis" were first applied to Phyllis. Her lungs were gradually getting harder and could process less and less oxygen. This horrible condition may have begun before we began traveling. Our stays at high altitudes were harder on Phyllis than on myself. She just thought she was weak. Climbing hills was harder for Phyllis. When we stayed about 1000 feet up a hill from out job one year she was determined to use the walk up the hill to strengthen her body, and that she would be able to hike mountains by the end of that season. The last day on that job was harder than the first, but she never would let me take her in our truck.

Looking back now, it is obvious her lungs were diminished even then. Phyllis never bemoaned her fate or felt sorry for herself. She would say often how glad she was that we had traveled when we did, because by the time she was 65 she would not have been healthy enough to start traveling.

In this time, our beloved Schnauzer Roscoe had a major seizure and we had to put him down.

In 2017, our son Paul said he was looking to buy a house in Charleston SC where he worked. Phyllis asked him if he would like for us to go in with him on the purchase, and he said that was a good idea. We sold our trailer and moved there. Later we sold our truck.

Phyllis was able to do a little traveling after we moved to Charleston, but not much. Two forced evacuations from hurricanes and our 50th anniversary trip were all there was. Mostly we just stayed within a one hour drive from the house. Eventually she could not even shop or eat out. The only time out of the house was to go to a doctor. Our beloved little poodle had moved with us to Charleston, but at age 18 her body began to shut down and we had to have her put down also.

14 The Truth and Peace

Phyllis knew she was getting weaker and weaker. She did not think she was getting proper care from her pulmonologist or that the doctor cared much about her.

We finally got her to a new situation. She was tested one more time and sent to another pulmonologist. This one said she would not have to have any more of the MRI tests that caused her a lot of pain. He told her she had "months to a year" before Pulmonary Fibrosis would claim her.

Even more than before, Phyllis looked at life in the light of eternity. She went on home hospice care. The hospice caregivers loved Phyllis. She had a positive outlook and did not complain about her fate. I was still the one that worked with her daily. Our son's wonderful wife was doing the cooking.

I continued exercising a lot -- lifting weights in the house and riding a bicycle hard while she was so ill. I was never gone from her for more than two hours, but she said I was much easier to live with when I had been riding, at least I was easier to be around AFTER I showered.

Shortly before she died, she told me she wanted me to live my life to the fullest after she was gone. No sinking into myself, no feeling sorry for myself, no depression, and for me to picture her cheering me on from the other side. She wanted me to stay in shape and find a new purpose in my life and even to get married again if I wanted to. Since I was now in pretty good shape I asked her if we or she knew any women anywhere near our age who could keep up with me. Her answer was straight to the point "No I don't" was the answer, and after a short pause "Remember if you do find her, she will also have to be willing to put up with you!" I laughed! Is it any wonder I loved (and love)) this woman?

One night, her oxygen machine was producing oxygen at its maximum rate and her lungs were not able to get the oxygen into her blood stream and to her brain. This was easily the worst night of my life She had been the light of my life and now she was gone.

I had watched my darling die an inch at a time for years. I had mourned each inch.

Now I need to "live my life to the fullest" and treasure her memory until the time comes for me to cross the "rainbow bridge" and join her.